Remember when every bar was adding over the top skewers in their Bloodies? And it was not just a celery stalk or cheese chunk, olive and mini pickle My favorites were the skewered mini hamburger slider by Jerry’s Jug House, and the skewered Goetta Ball in the Bloody at Libby’s Southern Comfort.
Well, this summer’s trend is a bit like the over the top skewered Bloody, but in the form of a milkshake- sundae hybrid called a Freakshake. It’s iliterally a “My Milkshake is better (bigger) than yours” competition amongst ice cream parlors. These toppings are more than sprinkles, chocolate sauce or nuts. They’re ice cream sculptures or even works of art. Some even rim the glass or cup. Things like peanut butter, marshmallow fluff, or caramel are used as glue to keep things like cookies, brownies, cupcakes on top of the milkshake. Other ingredients are speared like a Bloody into the drink to keep them stable. Items like Marshmallow Peeps, Cotton Candy, gourmet popcorn, funnel cakes, donuts and literally anything else you can imagine are topped on to make a mound of delicious craziness.
There’s no such thing as too over the top in a Freakshake. They harken back to the days of Ferrell’s Ice Cream Parlors clown sundaes, which were like a five person serving.
Terry’s Ice Cream Bar in Lynchburg, Ohio, was one of the first locally to offer these freakshakes a few summers ago. They call them crazy shakes and have about twenty-three flavors including Unicorn, S’mores, Caramel Explosion, Cookie Monster and Over the Rainbow (which comes with an entire slice of rainbow cake). The Carnival Shake is topped with cotton candy, popcorn, Twinkies and a lollipop. The only thing missing is a fried Oreo. Although the calories in one shake probably exceeds the recommended daily calories, you can also get pizza at Terry’s and any sundry groceries you need after you fast for the next two days.
Another one, KraZee Shakes in Milford, Ohio, just announced that they were closing for unforeseen circumstances after only being open for a year. They have a smaller variety than Terry’s – about a half dozen – and most are the same flavors as Terry’s. They have an interpretation of the Unicorn, the S’mores, Cookie Monster, along with a Peanut Butter, and Salted Caramel version.
If you’re looking for an adult experience, Nomad in Bellevue, Kentucky, has both virgin and alcoholic versions. Lori’s American Grill in Goshen has Crazyshakes and Dreamy Café in Miamisburg, south of Dayton, Ohio, has them. Even Blue Ash Chili has entered the game with a freakshake of the week, one of which was the PB&J for the month of May. It had about a dozen nutter butter cookies on top with strawberry compote and whipped cream. Cincy Chili and Freakshakes sound like a beautiful marriage to me.
So far neither Graeters, UDF nor Aglamesis have gotten into the Freakshakes phenom, but if they’re smart they will. I see a version of the Cincinnati Nectar soda freek-ized, maybe with a few Opera Creams on top.
They’re all pure theatre and super-fun for kids, but expect to pay above ten bucks for these ice cream performances. If I were to create a crazy shake – It would be called the Amsterdam – a speculas flavored shake topped with whipped cream, about a dozen pfeffernuse cookies, some ‘glued’ to the side with Belgian chocolate, a tompouse snack cake on top and sprinkled with rainbow Hagelslag sprinkles and a handful of salty, sour Dutch black licorice. You’re welcome Cincinnati dairy bars!
dannwoellertthefoodetymologist 
An entire shop dedicated to these thing in Grand Haven, MI….Bad Habit. 2-3 days of calories in their shakes.
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