Top Things I Miss About Old Frisch’s

In wake of a new round of Frisch’s restaurant closings this month by their venture capital owners, I wax nostalgic about how their quality has nosedived in the last few years and what I miss about the Old Frisch’s.

Frisch’s used to be a great place to go for a fresh salad and a great burger and fries.   It used to be indicative of Cincinnati and our regional food tastes.    At one time you could actually get a Cincinnati style threeway there. I am of a certain age, so I still remember the last of the car hop Frisch’s like the one on Spring Grove Avenue.      It was a treat to pull up, yell your order into an oversized speaker and have someone bring your order out to your car.

First and foremost I miss the original onion rings.   They were real cuts of onions breaded and fried perfectly. They weren’t all the same size because they were actually cuts from one onion, so you would get the small inner sections (which were my faves) and the large outer cuts.   Now they use standard Cisco-type freezer-to-fryer onion rings that are all the same size and don’t have the great crunch and strong onion flavor.

I miss the days when the items on the salad bar were fresh and not thawed frozen.   Just in the last month at the original Mainliner Frisch’s I saw how the cucumbers were goopy on the inside of the slice and different colored on the outside – the forensic evidence that tells me they came out of the freezer that morning.   The lettuce is wilted and they no longer have the fresh peas or the gloopy Thousand Island Dressing that I always loved on the salad. 

I miss the old cod fish logs on the fish sandwich that had great breading and were doused in large dollops of that amazing tarter sauce and freshly grated lettuce.   Now the company has resorted to the standard Cisco-esque frozen fish sticks.   I mean this was THE fish sandwich that spawned the 1965 Rob Groen-invented McDonald’s Filet-o-fish during post Vatican II Catholic Friday meat fasting.    Now, I’d choose the FOF over the Frisch’s fish sandwich.

I missed when the new owners took away the rye buns and the amazing crushed ice.    Well, Cincy protested and the owners brought back both.    Duh – Cincinnati is a Germanic rye bread town from way back.   You can’t take away our rye-bunned Swiss miss, brawny lads, and fish sandwiches.   WE.WILL.REVOLT!!

Although I don’t eat the hot fudge cakes anymore, which used to be my jam in the raging metabolism days of my youth, I’ve noticed they’ve shrunk quite a bit from the original 4” X 4” cut of cake.     And, the last time I tasted one, the cake was less browny-moist and more dry overcooked crumbly cake.    You can’t make up for a dry crumb with hot fudge sauce and ice cream.

Speaking of shrinkage, the burgers have shrunk in patty thickness and diameter as well.   Funny, because in their commercials they show a thick juicy burger.   Where that version is, I’d sure like to know.

The marketing overall is not bad, but I think their marketeers are confused who their market is.     They market to a higher demographic, but they put forth such low-end quality you really can’t see where the marketing and the product meet.      Good meals for a good value should still be the marketing mission they aspire to.

As Pony Boy said in the Outsiders, “Nothing gold can stay.”   And I know, I’m sounding like a crusty old man in my lamenting, but pretty soon there won’t be any Frisch’s left in the city.   And, then, what will happen to the most important relic of this 75 year old legacy – the tartar sauce?